Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
