I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I love having hate sex.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
