weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
