We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
