dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
