In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize