Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
