The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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