I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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