So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
