I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
this boner is exhausting
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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