So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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