You can't motorboat a personality
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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