Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
