you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
