I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
