god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
