Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
