She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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