I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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