it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
