i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
