I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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