hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize