Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
