After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
