you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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