who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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