he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
