i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I have demons in me.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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