Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
