Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
