I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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