8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
