I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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