Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize