You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
