I just threw up on my dentist
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
