Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
