i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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