need another drink. this is the easiest way
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
