is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
