Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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