well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
