So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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