I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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