my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
