What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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