If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
tonight lets celebrate not being married
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
