dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
