I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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