I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize