drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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