it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Randomize
