shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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