i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
