Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
