dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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