he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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