I'm really into asian looking animals
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
