my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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