Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
