hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
