We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
