ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
