Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
