you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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