i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
