i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
